I’ve started writing more times than I care to count. This pandemic has put a grip on me – every time I start writing something, when I come back to review it, I feel differently. It’s hard, even with fewer obligations, to justify taking the time to sit and write. Are all my closets and …
Author Archives: Jen
Happy Birthday to Me.
So, it’s my birthday this week. The level of emotions and anxiety leading up to my next trip around the sun have been overwhelming. Tony had always been the one to make a big deal out of my birthday, and often times I was embarrassed and even aggravated by it. This year, my first without …
The shadow of grief.
I’ve been at a loss for a long time, no pun intended. I want to write, to express how I’m doing. It’s why I created this blog. But the truth is, I don’t know how I’m doing. It changes by the moment. Every time I feel like I want to share, to write, the words …
I miss…
Every day brings a different perspective of what it is like to be living without Tony. Some days it feels trivial to try and capture or talk about all the little things, but when I don’t, they add up to be a mass of heartache, anger and sadness. That seems to be the triangle I …
Hello September.
It’s finally here. I’ve been watching it get closer and closer for some time now. I know all that September will bring. 23 years ago in September, we went on our first date. Later in the month, we’d celebrate his birthday together for the first time. 19 years ago this September, we were married. 4 …
Okay.
In these early months of grief, it is so easy to focus only on what makes me sad and lonely. What I’ve lost – what I had and what the future no longer holds. It’s a concept that leaves me frozen and feeling paralyzed. I haven’t been able to sit and write anything recently for …
I can’t imagine…
One of the most commonly heard phrases I’ve heard throughout Tony’s diagnosis and after his passing is ‘I can’t imagine what you’re going through.’ It’s a tricky statement. I have a love/hate relationship with those words. I think, in some ways, people can imagine but choose not to. And in others, I think no matter …
What you gain when you lose a spouse.
A friend recently posted an article titled ‘What you lose when you gain a spouse.’ Given my recent widow status and gravitational pull toward articles relating to grief and loss, it was no surprise that I read the title to be ‘What you gain when you lose a spouse’ and clicked on it with curiosity. …
Welcome.
Welcome to Living. Good. Grief. A blog that details a journey in loss and the living that comes afterwards. My name is Jen and I lost my husband Tony to Pancreatic Neuroendocrine Cancer in March of 2019. We have two beautiful and amazing children. I hope to use this blog to help myself and share …
Living. Good. Grief. 